William Chong

On the 16th April 2008, most of New Zealand woke up to nonstop coverage of a horrible tragedy – 6 students and 1 teacher from Elim Christian College were killed when overcome by a flash flood in the Mangatepopo River.

How does a Christian come to terms with losing someone they love? Why did these 7 die and not someone else? What was the plan behind it? Is an accident like this punishment from God, or nothing to do with Him? How much control did He exert on the events that took place? I don’t think there are any easy answers.

The best book I could recommend is Philip Yancey’s “Where is God when it hurts?“. It pulls no punches, and it’s honest in saying that no-one can fully understand why the things happen as they do. But it offers a comforting perspective on pain and suffering.

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While the circumstances surrounding the loss may vary, there’s a sombre sense of similarity in the questions that flooded my mind around the time my mother passed away. How did I react when faced with these questions?

• I grieved. It didn’t matter that I was thrown back into friends and family, traditions and rituals I didn’t understand or affiliate with. I was there, I cried and shared in the sorrow of my brothers and sisters, my dad, my relatives.
• I regretted. Times when I could have been a better son. Times when I said and did things which I didn’t mean. Promises that never came true. Hopes and dreams that remain unfulfilled.
• I doubted.  One question I posed to my brother sounded a bit like this: “If I believe in God, will I see her again?” No one can tell me that their faith is not shaken when bad things happen to good people. Even though I knew that God doesn’t change, I still struggled. I questioned why my mother couldn’t have come to known Christ. I didn’t like the answers to my questions. I struggled to accept His plan.
• I was comforted. Many of the Psalms deals with suffering and trusting in God in times of happiness, and times of sorrow. Psalm 23 is beautiful, and comforts me.  “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling.” (Ps 46:1-3).
  
  It’s hard to look back, because you see things that you can’t change besides your own thoughts and perspectives on what, why, and to what end. Pain and suffering? It’s a part of this fallen world. In Philip Yancey’s book, he says: “I hope I do not so insulate myself from pain that I do not feel pleasure.” 

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One thing that these seven were able to cling to: the promise of eternity spent with God. As Christians, perhaps part of you looks forward to the time when you will go to be with the Lord. I recently heard a Sovereign Grace Music song that seems to really drive it home…

“It is not death to die,
to leave this weary road
and join the saints who dwell on high
who’ve found their home with God.
It is not death to close
the eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before your throne
delivered from my fears…”

The best thing we can do in response? Perhaps it’s just to pray for God’s comfort and shelter for these families and friends. We may not know them directly, or well. But I think each of us can do something about it, no matter how small it seems.

Suffering reminds us that we live in a less-than-perfect world. The circumstances of our suffering is not up to us. Whether we draw closer to or away from the Lord because of it, however, is up to us.

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 “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised” (Job 1:21).

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It’s a celebration of someone’s life.  Yet tragically two lives were very short-lived.  Sometimes words don’t really do justice to the hurt and sorrow of losing a loved one.  Cliches and pick-me-up phrases aside, some moments:

• Bubbles floating in the wind, dancing around the lowered casket covered with bangles and flowers and tears
•  Three men and a lady staring at international arrivals onscreen, eye contact with the grieving father an uneasy burden
• facebook moods shifting with the days
• drifting into thought as two men argue inconsequentially between the terms “stillbirth” and “miscarriage”.
• The male protagonist sets the mood as she sleeps; from the musical “Miss Saigon”.
• Tony Laf also sings it well.

As for learning about a breakup, it’s better to have loved.  A line of lyric says simply, “cos we’re moving on.” – an answer to the question, “it will be alright because?”.  But all rhetoric aside, she is sad.

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What all this does mean though, is that I’m fairly behind in my uni work – 3 assignments that need to be started on, none of them really fleshed out yet.  Other chores during the holidays too, like servicing the car, WOF, paying bills (my dad’s bill money ran out – uni poverty here we come), and it’s still touch-and-go for many other things and other people.

Take care everyone.

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